Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
foreskin is a definite game changer
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
