I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
