oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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