he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
