For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
