Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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