two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
FUCK WHALES
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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