I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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