i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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