he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize