The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
