your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
