They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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