my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
