We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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