How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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