I bet he comes in French.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
