How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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