I hope mine doesn't look like that
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize