Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
