Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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