there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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