Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
