There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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