Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
