I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
