remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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