i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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