..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
