He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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