It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize