Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
