It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
