I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
