Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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