i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
