4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize