A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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