I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
