her vagine was all disorganized.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize