Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
