my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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