Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
