If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize