You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she pinky promised me she was 18
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The air was thick with penises
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
