Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's the barista slut.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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