and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
