she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
