I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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