Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize