Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
