I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
