It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she looked like the before picture.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
