some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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