i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
