apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
