All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I stole a fireplace last night.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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