Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
