His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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