Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
