i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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