In America we eat man semen.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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